


Fall from Grace

by ultragayest



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Coming Out, F/F, also bill is an icon and we... love him, anyways i have a deep and neverending love for alice, is it actually alice/grace chastity? who's to say but like... vaguely, this absolutely began as three sentences of vent fic don't even joke, this is my first fic in 84 years i beg of you be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 01:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultragayest/pseuds/ultragayest
Summary: Sophomore year was the first time Alice heard someone say the word lesbian. The key word being “say” - it wasn’t shouted or spat, dripping with anger and implications of something horrible, abnormal, inherently, utterly wrong. Just said, like any other word.-------------Alice's coming out story.





	Fall from Grace

Sophomore year was the first time Alice heard someone say the word lesbian. The key word being “say” - it wasn’t shouted or spat, dripping with anger and implications of something horrible, abnormal, inherently, utterly wrong. Just said, like any other word.

Her parents weren’t the source of any vitriol, god no; her dad tried his best to teach her all about different types of people as she grew up, always eager to answer her questions when she stayed with him. The problem, though, was that he was teaching himself at the same time. He was never homophobic, nothing like that, he was just learning. Figuring out what all these terms meant, deciding how best to explain things to his daughter when he was only just coming to understand them himself.

Three weeks after hearing Grace say “lesbian” like that, Alice was back at her dad’s house. When she told him she wanted to ask him something, his face lit up - she always tried to think of at least one question to ask, just to see that. Alice could see he was taken aback when she asked for his opinion on lesbians, responding with a slightly confused assurance that he had no issue with lesbians - they were people, just like the two of them; they just loved differently.

When she asked him, hypothetically of course, how he would feel if he had a lesbian for a daughter, there was a pause. Alice could see the confusion linger for a split second and then vanish, her father pulling her into a warm, wonderful bear hug. She didn’t realize she’d started crying until her dad finally let go and she noticed that he was, too.

Her mother was a bit of a different situation - again, she wasn’t “morally opposed” to the idea of queer people existing, she was just distant. Even though Alice stayed with her more frequently than she got to stay with her dad, she didn’t have a lot of time to talk through things. She was a businesswoman, an entrepreneur, and traveled a lot; Alice had a bit of a latchkey-kid situation there compared to the sweet but slightly smothering atmosphere at her dad’s.

When her mother picked her up that night Alice was still a bit red and teary-eyed; she realized immediately that her mother had to know that something had happened. Sure enough, her mother parked the car in a Dairy Queen parking lot and turned to her, asking what was wrong.

She’d planned to be casual about it when the moment came, drop a reference to being gay in the middle of a conversation and leave it at that, but her words tumbled out before she could stop them. Her mother rubbed her arm as she cried, assured her that she could never have a problem with anything about Alice. After a few minutes they were back on the road again, now splitting a king-size blizzard as they talked.

When school came around the next week, Alice wasn’t sure what she should do. There were enough supportive people in her school - some of them openly queer themselves - that she wasn’t too scared of possible hate, she just… didn’t want them to know yet. She was still figuring things out herself, she didn’t need to tell anyone anything.

Maybe Grace, though.

Despite her name, Grace Chastity often told Alice stories of her sexual fantasies and exploits, assured that what was said between them wouldn’t go anywhere. She wasn’t a fan of sleeping around, she was just a bit more… _active_ with her boyfriend than her parents were aware of. Alice had even jokingly referred to Grace as a prude on more than one occasion - Grace had asked her to, citing an extremely religious, conservative family - each jab met with a smile from Grace and butterflies in her stomach.

Grace was the person who told Alice about lesbians after wondering what would happen if she just “went lesbian” for a little while to spite her ex; she was the friend who assured her that there really wasn’t anything wrong with lesbians that she cared about (and that, despite Grace’s lack of experience in that particular field, lesbian sex was supposedly worlds better).

That was more than enough reason to be trustworthy, right?

Alice told her. During the lunch period, as they were walking towards the choir room for rehearsal, she pulled Grace into the stairwell leading into the auditorium and admitted it. Blurted a whole mess of things about not really knowing what to feel or how to say it, mentioned that Grace was the only friend she trusted to know. For now, at least, while she figured things out. Grace laughed, then gave her a funny look, but before they could really talk about things the bell rang and they had to bolt to rehearsal.

She couldn’t tell if Grace was avoiding her for the next weeks, or if it was just happenstance. It was time for midterms anyways, and Grace had said long before Alice’s confession that she would need to study her ass off if she wanted to pass all of her classes. After that she was traveling for the holidays, flying to the other side of the country to visit family while Alice bounced back and forth between parents.

When second semester rolled around, things seemed to be back to normal. Grace picked up the relationship like nothing had happened - maybe nothing had - and moved on, telling Alice about the ski trip she’d convinced her boyfriend to invite her on. Alice rolled with it, not really bringing up the conversation she’d tried to have the month before - though she noticed that Grace didn’t reference “going lesbian” as much any more. Every so often Alice would mention it in passing, bringing up how she wished she had a girlfriend so she could share her own stories with Grace, or saying something about being too scared to come out, how she wanted to keep things under wraps until after graduation - but whenever she started talking along those lines, Grace quickly blew past the topic and moved on to something else.

She didn’t seem angry, or like she was avoiding Alice at all. Things were fine.

Soon enough, the choir’s annual tour rolled around, this year headed for New York. It was Alice’s first time really getting away from Clivesdale or Hatchetfield - the year before, she’d gotten sick the week of the trip, so she’d been forced to stay home. It was thrilling to finally get to go - a full week out of school, singing in massive theaters and stunning churches, staying up late and gossiping with friends in the hotel room. Months before the trip (and long before Alice came out), Alice and Grace had signed up to room together with two of Grace’s other friends. Hopefully, hanging out with Grace this much would smooth over any doubts Alice still had about their relationship - she kept telling herself it was fine, and she knew it was, but she couldn’t help but feel nervous.

She got the text on the third day of the trip.

> _hey. ur alice, right?_
> 
> _it’s jay, from ur english class?_
> 
> _just wanted to let u know - grace said some shit abt u at dinner tonight_

It came out of nowhere - she’d skipped the optional play the choir was attending to get ahead on some homework, but Grace and her two roommates had gone, along with about half of the choir. They’d taken one of the tour buses and gone off in the early evening to grab a bite to eat before the show; by the time Alice got the text, everyone had been back for a while.

> _what?_
> 
>  
> 
> _yeah. she told everyone u had a crush on her?_

Alice’s fingers froze over the keyboard. She could see Grace out of the corner of her eye, blow-drying her hair by the vanity.

> _???_
> 
>  
> 
> _i didn’t hear everything bc i was a couple of tables away but. she was super loud_
> 
> _called u a ‘lesbo freak’ or something like that_
> 
> _smthn abt u hitting on her, being super creepy_
> 
> _nasty shit, thought u were friends_
> 
>  
> 
> _…_
> 
> _we are_
> 
>  
> 
> _shit_
> 
> _sorry man_
> 
> _nvm forget it_

Alice lay in the hotel bed that night, teetering on the edge in an effort to stay as far from Grace as possible, staring at the wall in silence for a long time.

She woke the next day to what felt like a different world. It was impossible that everyone had heard Grace, and yet everyone seemed to be looking at her differently. Like they _knew_. Alice had never breathed a word about being gay to anyone at school but Grace, and she hadn’t dared tell her that she thought she might have a crush on her - was she being creepy? Was she being predatory? Did everyone at school think she was only friends with Grace because she wanted to… “get with” her?

She needed to talk to Grace.

When Alice heard the door unlocking, her hair stood on end. She’d planned on asking Grace as soon as she got back, and she knew that she was due to get here any moment - but still, she felt that she was balancing on a knife’s edge. Alice heard Grace’s purse land on the end table, and after a second Grace’s jacket hit her in the back of the head, followed by a giggle. A moment later Grace came crashing into the other side of the bed, nearly launching Alice onto the ground. She held still, though, and waited for Grace’s laughter to pass before beginning to speak.

“Did you say something about me at dinner last night?”

Grace’s head popped up, confusion on her face. Alice couldn’t look at her.

“What are you talking about?”

Deep breath.

“Did you tell someone I’m gay?”

Grace sat up, stared at Alice for a moment, and laughed. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t think it was a big deal.” With a shrug, Grace pushed herself off the bed and knocked on the door of the adjoining hotel room - several of her other friends had managed to snag the room next door - and, after a moment, slipped through, leaving Alice reeling.

Not a big deal?

The one thing she’d told Grace in complete confidence, after years of keeping secrets for her, just… not a big deal. Not important. Nothing that mattered.

Alice didn’t want to think about what life might be like when she got back from tour.

 

* * *

 

“--and that’s how they found out. Wasn’t really my preferred method, but they both thought it was pretty funny - y’know, two gay guys raising not one, but _two_ bi daughters.”

Alice laughed, feeling the warmth of Deb’s lap beneath her head and her fingers combing through her hair. It was late, and they were both a bit tipsy - Alice’s twenty-first had just happened to fall on closing night of the spring musical, so they’d gone out to celebrate. She felt warm, and happy; she didn’t think anything could ever top just lying there, staring up at Deb’s face, watching her hands flutter as she told her story.

“But yeah, it could’ve been a lot worse.” Alice frowned for a moment and Deb glanced down, worry creasing her face. “Wait, Alice, what’s wrong?”

“I, um… it’s, uh, nothing.” Alice pushed herself upright, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning her head on Deb’s shoulder and closing her eyes. “I don’t really think I want to talk about it. Tonight’s too nice.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah… Maybe later, I’m just… really happy right now?” She felt Deb nod, and didn’t stop herself from saying anything else. “Y’know it really bothered me when it did happen. It was kinda shitty, but… it’s okay now. I don’t care that much anymore. I don’t really want to be friends with her again, but like… I don’t think I would punch her, y’know?”

Deb paused for a moment and chuckled, her free hand finding Alice’s while the other continued combing through her hair. She tilted her head, letting it fall on top of Alice’s.

“Yeah, babe, I know.”

Alice woke the next day with Deb’s arms wrapped around her, curled up on a beanbag chair that had seen better days. She could feel Deb’s breath on her ear, punctuated by the occasional soft snore. She sighed, pulled their shared blanket back up to her chin, and grasped for Deb’s hand. Focusing on the rhythm of Deb’s breathing, Alice closed her eyes and did her best to match it.

She was right. She was really, really happy right now.

**Author's Note:**

> it feels... incredibly strange to be back writing fic again. did i expect the ~3 incredibly vent-y sentences i wrote at 3 am to become the first fic i've finished in around 5 years? definitely not but let's just say i love alice with all of my heart and soul


End file.
